Breathless
by Abby Ebon
Summary: There's an accident and Kevin's powers go wonky possibly dangerously so . Ben realizes he can't live without him. For Fic-Exchange at Ben x Kevin LJ Comm. for ad exia. Oneshot. Slash.


**Breathless**

_Abby Ebon_

O.o.O.o.O.o.O

_Disclaimer_; I do not own any part of the _Ben 10: Alien Force_ series.

_Dedication_; written for, ad_exia.

_Ben x Kevin Fic Exchange Notes_:

Will Write: There's an accident and Kevin's powers go wonky (possibly dangerously so). Ben realizes he can't live without him.

Will Not Have: Something too overly sappy. I want them to still be guys about it. And preferably no sad endings. D:

Words: 2600ish (_head-desk_ is epic FAIL at 1000)

_Summary_: We all knew it would happen, someday – we had a plan for that distant maybe-future. When Kevin lost control of it, his power – when he would, _Change_. Plans, it turns out, are worth shit. Or less. It's happening, now; there is no stopping it, or slowing down – his power is finally maturing, catching up with him. Kevin has no control of it, now. He needs someone to be his rock in the midst of this, someone to say he's not a monster - still worth something to us – to Gwen – to…me. But, it seems, Gwen tries, but she can't stand to look at him, flinches from his touch – cringes a little more each and every time she comes near him. Kevin sees it, hates himself for it. Still, it doesn't change facts; he needs someone…but, but why can't it be me? Maybe it can be…maybe it is.

O.o.O.o.O.o.O

Kevin looks like something out of a nightmare.

Ben didn't know why he was surprised to see that Kevin had been so changed. Maybe he'd been expecting Kevin to look like he had when they were kids; with Fourarms's head, body, right eyes, number of arms, and legs Grey Matter's left eye – Upgrade's upper arm; Stinkfly's wings, Diamondhead's top right arm - Heatblast's top left arm, Wildmutt's bottom arms, Ghostfreak's lines on the chest and on his back. XLR8's tail and speed and Ripjaws's antenna, gills, and jaws. More mix-matched with his older aliens then something like - like this.

Whatever Ben had, or had not been expecting – Kevin didn't look like that now. Fourarms's legs - and the number of arms hadn't changed. But it was paired with a Heatblast-similar head, body, left wing and right tentacle, but _black and yellow_ instead of the usual red and yellow, a left tentacle that splits in the center of Fourarms's left arm -and the other was a smaller tentacle with an Upgrade and XLR8's tail marks. Several gray-green tentacles, of an unidentifiable alien species - were sticking out of his lower body. Wildmutt's bottom arms. Stinkfly's right wing; and Ben sometimes heard sounds from Kevin, when he was unaware, that sounded like something from the Anur Belt where the aliens looked like something out of a monster movie.

They – we, all knew it would happen, someday – we had a plan for that distant maybe-future. When Kevin lost control of it, his power – when he would, _Change_. Plans, it turns out, are worth shit.

Or less.

It's happening, now; Ben knows there is no stopping it; or slowing down – Kevin's power is finally maturing, catching up with him. Kevin has no control of it, now. He needs someone to be his rock in the midst of this, someone to say he's not a monster - still worth something to – to Gwen – to…Ben.

Gwen tries, but Ben knows - she can't stand to look at him, flinches from his touch – cringes a little more each and every time she comes near him. Kevin sees it, hates himself for it. Still, it doesn't change facts; he needs someone…but, but why can't it be Ben?

Maybe it can be…maybe it is.

"What do you want, Tennyson?" Ben flinched at how raw Kevin's voice sounded, like scraping gravel. It was likely unpleasant for him, talking like this. It sounded like it hurt. Ben hadn't forgotten it was Kevin he was looking at sleep. Kevin wasn't sleeping anymore.

"Just watching out for you, Kevin - that's all." Ben answered, fidgeting beside the metal cushioned chair (it was an alien alloy, and softer then it looked) that Kevin lounged, seemingly boneless on it. Ben had paused on the way to the makeshift kitchen to look in on him. It wasn't uncommon for Kevin to have nightmares – he just didn't talk about them. It wasn't really healthy, Ben suspected, but that was Kevin.

"Really, it isn't just the _guilt_ eating at you?" His voice hissed, sizzling, bitter and sarcastic, and Ben could not help flinching – if only a little bit. Ben closed his eyes – he was doing the best he could with what he had, and Kevin knew that. As it was, they were bunkered down in an ancient underground Plumber base. It was really a buried ship, Ben had found out that had been fixed up for human/alien habitation, but never tested. Ben intended to change that, one-day.

"Part of it, I guess." Ben agreed, with a nod. Kevin sighed a bit, shifting the weight of his bulky body. Ben knew it would take Kevin some getting used to. It didn't help that his power of abortion - and manipulating of energy had returned along with a mix-alien body. Ben was getting better at reading Kevin's expression, he didn't think he was as good at it as Kevin was at reading him, but the blur of yellow-black features were not so bland to him any longer. It was subtle, but it was there – pain narrowing gleaming eyes, and regret made his tentacle grey-green tails curl.

"How's Gwen?" Kevin asked, seeming unable to help himself. Ben leaned more into the doorway, as if it would help support him, take the burden of his weight so he could deal with heftier emotions.

"Starting senior year, she…misses you, Kevin. Despite all this, it's hard on her and you both, I know it – but…she still cares." Ben told Kevin haltingly, trying to get to Kevin to see he was as needed as he had always been. He was still part of the group. He wasn't the bad-guy he looked like. Ben knew that, but knew Kevin sometimes wondered. Being in pain, seeing himself as a freak, and knowing he disgusted Gwen – it was hard on Kevin to keep himself going. Ben hoped that he was somehow helping. He didn't want to make this any harder on Kevin, it was just bad timing that this had started up a week before school started up.

"Sure she does; can't stand to look at me, all the same. And you, Tennyson? What normal little things will are you doing in school this year? I'm not going anywhere, might as well tell me, huh? Trust me still, don't you?" Ben sighed a little, Kevin was lashing out – or testing how things were holding between them. It didn't matter, Kevin was hurting, and it was human to be taking it out on Ben. Kevin would apologize for this, later, and it would be sincere, just as truthful as his anger and hurt and jealously.

"I dropped out." Ben settled for telling him, and why not? Kevin wasn't an idiot. He knew school was starting up – would notice that Ben wasn't leaving his side as often as he should to go off to school. His absence – if Ben were still signed up – would be taken notice of and acted upon with whatever authority and discipline that his parents and school could force upon. Ben didn't really care. It seemed a stupid thing to occupy his time, when there was so much more _out there_.

"Idiot, why?" Kevin growled the words out, eyes wide in his astonishment. Ben, Kevin had to know, was serious about this – Gwen would have talked to him, yelled at him, argued with him. Kevin couldn't imagine how Ben had gotten his way, with Gwen, not to mention Ben's own parents. Ben grinned a little at him, sensing he was startled.

"I'm of age for that choice, Kevin; I can at least drop out of high school. Told my parents I was going on a road trip, you know? To sort my head out; Gwen knows that, has my Plumbers badge to keep track of me; _just in case_." Ben gave an eye-roll as he mimicked Gwen's tone perfectly. It had been a sticking point with her, and one Ben had given into. Kevin had his Plumbers badge here, so it wasn't like Ben was without one.

"Where will you go?" Kevin asked then, slow to say the words that went around-and-around in his head so uselessly, something like curiosity gave him pause. He was also honestly worried for Ben, even with all the abuse he heaped upon the younger boy. Kevin still liked him, still wanted to watch out for him –if only for what he and Gwen had once shared, though Kevin was at a loss for how he was supposed to do that now – when he was the sort of monster-alien that needed watching.

"With you; not like I'll need schooling and a college degree out there, right? I would just probably have to unlearn it." Ben said it with such ease, so simply, it took Kevin a moment to realize what, exactly, Ben had _actually said_. Kevin blinked at him, once more taken aback. It seemed Ben was full of surprises for him today.

"What do you mean by _that_?" Ben huffed; nostrils flaring in annoyance, Kevin might have agreed that the tone of disbelief might not have been needed. Still, Ben remained steady, his eye not twitching in the least. He wasn't lying, Ben _meant_ it for truth – whatever he was half-hinting at, he was intent upon.

"Well, I figure, we're both freaks, I just hide it better. Might as well get off-world; see what else is out there." There was some amount of awe about it, there always was, with Ben. One would think he, being part of every alien out there – might have gotten used to it. Might think it got a bit old. Ben would get like this, sometimes, and Kevin knew he would never think of it as any less wondrous then what the universe was.

Maybe going off world wouldn't change that wonder-lust - Kevin was almost afraid, for Ben's sake – that it might twist it. Ben didn't know how ugly it was out there, sometimes. Kevin wanted to believe the better parts evened it out, but right now – face to face with Ben, Kevin wasn't sure. And that worried him. What would Ben think of Kevin, once he saw some of what Kevin had done out there?

"We have a decent idea of what that is, here, don't need a closer look. You aren't doing this for me, Ben. I'm not going to be responsible for you being miserable." Kevin didn't say what he was afraid of – that Ben would come back here, and see how things had changed – how Gwen had grown up; become respected, here – where it counted most.

Ben would have chosen to go off the grid with Kevin, no one would really remember him, or like him on his home world, and that could be a cold reminder of loss, even when the universe and countless worlds knew with awe and respect, Ben for what he was. What he had done. Kevin remembered it – those years alone. It had changed him, for the better – at least. But, with Ben, Kevin wasn't so sure what the affects would be.

"I'm not asking for that, Kevin, honest. I…I'm _bored_ here, sure, something will probably turn up, eventually. It just feels like time is being wasted in-between, you know? So, I figure, I don't really need to go looking for trouble, all I got to do is, you know, get out there, and it'll find me, soon enough." Ben said it, half teasing, like it didn't matter to him what Kevin thought, but Kevin wasn't blind – he could see, it did. That was what made Kevin think about what he was going to say. Reckless accusations and taunts would do no good – might even be hurtful, in the long run.

Ben, maybe, didn't even realize how much it mattered to Ben, that Kevin approve of his little scheme. Of this much, Kevin was sure – Gwen didn't know what sort of "road trip" Ben had planned, she maybe guessed that Kevin would tag along; maybe she thought they'd go places where humanity was scarce. That much was certainly true enough, in the long run.

"And what, Tennyson, will I be doing in the middle of your little space-adventure?" Kevin grit his teeth along his stone tongue, knowing there were better words to use – but Ben didn't seem perturbed by it.

"Was hoping you'd have my back, like old times - I'm going – either way – I…I'd just really like to have you along." Ben finished, ears burning red. Kevin knew Ben was embarrassed by that admittance, and that, maybe, the reason that Ben was trying so hard was because he thought Kevin would be hard to win over.

"You serious about this?" Kevin asked as if he doubted, but he didn't – not really.

"Yeah, yeah, I think I am." Ben's grin was full of boyish enthusiasm and a little recklessness.

Kevin was actually relieved, truth to tell. He was tired of sitting about, useless and hurting and not-human. Ben sticking by him helped, a lot more then Kevin would ever say – but Ben alone wasn't enough. Kevin wasn't used to sitting on his ass, doing nothing – he always fidgeted with his car for a reason, had been eager to tag along with Ben and Gwen when they'd taken their little alien road trips. It was something to do.

Kevin needed that now – something to do, to see – and Ben was offering it up like this, so easily. Kevin knew he should fight with Ben about this, that Ben needed to go to school – that Gwen and he could still work something out, after all – this was as good as running away. Kevin wasn't keen on that idea, running away from Gwen –from Earth – but he was even less suited to _waiting_ this flux of power out, sitting here and rotting while it come over him like the tide. Wasn't it better to get out there and _learn_ about what he _could do_?

If Ben tagged along, was that so bad, really? Kevin turned it around in his head, what might happen to him if he stuck around. That thought repulsed him. Eager now to go – to rid himself of Earth; and its taint and the what-ifs and maybes of what might happen to him, Kevin leaned in closer toward Ben. It would, Kevin knew, disturb anyone else. Not so, with Ben. Ben saw it for what it was, and smirked, knowing Kevin was caught, hook, line, and sinker.

"Then, if it _isn't_ a pity trip, I'm in." Ben might have well done a victory pose, he was so obviously self-pleased. For the first time since this had started, Ben patted Kevin on what he could reach of his leg – grinning away his nerves and excitement. Kevin paused in his movement to get up, for the first time, something tight and choking around his heart eased. Kevin was, he realized just then – and was sure of it for being truth, going to be alright.

"As if – I, uh, thanks for this, Kevin; couldn't do this with out you, you'll see - we won't regret it, Kev'." Kevin glanced to Ben as they walked together; the younger teen hadn't seemed to notice his slip in the nickname. Questions formed and muddled about, newly formed, in Kevin's mind, but he did not give voice to them. He would wait and see, first - Ben seemed to realize, now, that he needed Kevin – it was, maybe - at least as much as Kevin knew he needed Ben in turn.

O.o.O.o.O.o.O


End file.
